It takes a lot of strength to make the decision to put your baby up for adoption. In making this decision, you are setting your own needs and desires aside and instead doing what you know is best for your baby. In the months leading up to the adoption, and for years afterwards, you will deal with difficult emotions related to the experience. Here are some ways to help make the adoption process a bit easier on you from an emotional standpoint.
Talk to a counselor.
It can be hard to find someone to talk with openly and honestly about your concerns and emotions related to the adoption. You may fear that friends or family members are judging you, or you may hesitate to tell them certain information because you don't want them to share it. This is why it's vital that you seek out a counselor to talk with in the months leading up to the adoption and also afterwards. A counselor is a non-biased person who won't share your story with others and who is there to lend support -- not to judge you. Sharing your emotions with someone will help you move past them, and your counselor can also provide you with advice when it comes to dealing with adoption-related challenges that pop up along the way so you don't feel like you're so alone.
Tell the important people in your life about the decision.
So many pregnant women fail to tell their parents, partner, and other close friends about their decision to give their baby up because they fear these people will react negatively. Yet, waiting to tell these people only lets this worry keep eating away at you, day after day. Get the tough part over with. Rip the bandage off quickly, if you will, by informing others about your decision. They might not be happy with you, or they may surprise you and be more supportive than you imagined -- either way, you'll be able to stop worrying about what their reactions may be.
Talk to your adoption agency about open adoptions.
Many mothers find it much easier emotionally to give their babies up for adoption when they know they will see them again or that they will at least receive updates about them. Open adoptions vary in their openness. In some cases, the adoptive parents may be willing to let you visit the baby on a regular basis. Other times, you might just be sent pictures once a year or on special occasions. Decide what you want in this regard and let the agency you're working with know. They will work to find adoptive parents who want the same level of openness that you do. You'll be able to relax a lot more when you have an idea of what to expect once the adoption goes through. In fact, just knowing that you will see your child again may give you a lot of peace.
Join a support group for other birth moms who chose adoption.
Nobody understands quite what it's like to give a baby up for adoption until they have done so themselves. Your adoption agency should be able to point you towards a support group for birth moms in your area. Attending and getting to know the other ladies in the group will be exceedingly helpful as you face the roller coaster of emotions associated with adoption. These moms will have been through the same things you're going through, and they can give you realistic advice for dealing with your troubles. They can even just serve as a non-judgmental soundboard when you need to cry and let your feelings out.
Giving up a child for adoption is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. But, with the strategies above, you will make it through this challenge. If you have any questions about placing your baby for adoption, consider looking into websites of local agencies, such as http://www.achildsdream.org, for more information.
